


Nothing Matters Anymore

by wesleyfanfiction_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-17
Updated: 2005-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7093243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesleyfanfiction_archivist/pseuds/wesleyfanfiction_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone he loves, he loses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Matters Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [WesleyFanfiction.net](http://fanlore.org/wiki/WesleyFanFiction.Net). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [WesleyFanfiction.net collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wesleyfanfiction/profile).

Well this is my first attempt at writing Wes/Angel. I felt the need to write, and this is what came from that. I actually wrote this MONTHS ago, but I just didn't think it was worth posting. I guess I've changed my mind :-P

 

**Title** : Nothing Matters Anymore

**Spoilers** : S5, post Not Fade Away

**Disclaime** r: If they were mine, I wouldn’t be writing this. I would be playing with them.

 

 

The city reeked of death as he walked toward the mansion. He still couldn’t believe they survived. Not only did they survive, they _won_. He knows it would have been impossible if it weren’t for Buffy, Faith, and their army of slayers. Some of the slayers died in battle, and it didn’t look like Gunn would make it through the night, but at least they won. 

 

That’s what he was thinking until he walked into Vail’s mansion. Until he saw Wesley lying on the floor, having been dead for a few hours now. That’s when it just didn’t matter anymore that they'd won. It didn’t matter that Angel was alive. Wesley was dead, and nothing mattered anymore.

 

He knelt down next to Wesley, and reached out to stroke his face. He knew long before he came here that Wesley had died. Still, this was harder than he'd expected. 

 

“Wesley…” His voice came out in a hoarse whisper. 

 

He cleared his throat and spoke again.

 

“There are so many things I didn’t have the chance to tell you. So many things that I needed you to know before you left me.” 

 

He sat down, and took Wesley’s limp hand. He looked at the other man’s face. Wesley looked so peaceful. Angel imagined that Wesley had welcomed death. He had been grieving over Fred, and Angel knew that he just wanted it to be over. He just wanted the pain of losing his love to go away. 

 

“I wanted you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for taking Connor. I understand why you did it. You were just trying to protect me. If it meant protecting you, I would have done the same thing.” He paused for a moment and let a tear slip down his cheek.

 

“Wesley, all I’ve ever wanted is to protect you, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t protect you from Faith, or Justine. I couldn’t protect you from losing the love of your life. I couldn’t protect you from this horrible death. I’m so sorry for that Wesley. This isn’t the way things should be. You should be here, and we should be back at the Hyperion with everyone else celebrating the fact that we just won our biggest battle.”

 

He was sobbing now, but he just kept talking.

 

“I love you so much Wesley. I can’t remember the exact day, or what made me realize it. All I know is that I’ve loved you for so long. I wanted to tell you so many times, but it wasn’t easy. So many things went wrong between us. I didn’t think you could love me. Not the way I love you. Now you’ll never know how I felt, and I’ll never know if you could have loved me too. I’m sorry Wesley. I’m sorry your life had to end like this.”

 

Angel stood and picked Wesley’s limp body up from the floor. He placed a soft kiss on Wesley’s forehead, and prepared to take him back to the Hyperion, where his friends could give him a proper goodbye.

 

“I hope you’re happy where ever you are Wesley. I love you.” He whispered as he walked out of the mansion and into the rainy LA night. 

 

 

~ The End


End file.
